Shut Up and Take My Money: Giant Samus Aran Magnet

The great thing about being an unmarried, childless adult is that you can buy whatever you want and nobody will judge you for it. Such is my case. I might have lied to my mom about the number of consoles I own, but it is only to save her the headache. Other than that, I am an independent, decent-income-earning adult who can buy a cart full of Legos and candy with almost no repercussions to speak of.

I now find myself in one of these situations. My manager at my day job has started a new hobby, one that involves making video game magnets out of perler beads. Some of you may have seen things like it before; the perler beads give the pixelated effect, reigniting the fuzzy feelings you used to get from the games of your childhood.

The other day he walks in with this:


Pretty badass, right? Wait for it:

Holy shark farts, I want that thing so bad.

There are so many “That’s what she said” jokes that could be made about the size of it, aaaaaand I pretty much just handed that one to you, so Happy Holidays.

It took him about SEVEN AND A HALF HOURS to piece together, and he’s decided to charge $100 for the thing. I have had to stare at it for a few weeks now, and the longer I stare the more I want it. Giant Samus is more of a work of art than some trinket I would slap on a fridge. If I do cave and end up buying it, Giant Samus would live comfortably in a beautiful shadowbox displayed on my apartment wall for all to admire and be super jealous of.


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About Janessa Olson

I like dogs, cake, archaeology, and preparing for the imminent robot uprising.

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