Skyrim vs. The best games ever made

Fus Ro...I don't know the third word yet

Skyrim is among us.  Its amazing.  You probably didn’t even need me to tell you that at this point, but I will anyway.  Some are saying Game of the Year, which is nice, but why not go for the gold?  How do we make this thing “Best Game Ever”?  You don’t just hand out a crown like that without some extensive consideration for other great games that have come before it.  What’s the best way to determine who’s the greatest?  Why a battle royale between each game on its own terms of course.  Read on to see if Skyrim can take the belt!

Round 1 – Skyrim vs. Diablo

Let's see, I'm in hell surrounded by lava, no town portal...fuuuuu...

Diablo sports an array of randomly generated dungeons and thousands of common, rare and legendary item drops from monsters.  Skyrim sports hundreds of hand-crafted dungeons and boatloads of useless crap lying around houses and castles to steal.

Now on paper these games sound really similar, but once they get into the ring it becomes very apparent that they have almost nothing in common.  Diablo requires spreadsheets to create a great character, does not allow for missteps in skill choices and requires constant supervision of one’s inventory.  Those thousands of white-text, common items ultimately become cumbersome and too much hassle to pick-up.  I don’t care how many Horadric Cubes you brought along, you shouldn’t need an inventory for your inventory just to keep an extra iron bolt.

Yo dawg, I heard you play Diablo...

Skyrim on the other hand allows you to level up your character in whatever fashion you desire,  you want to be a lock-picking battle mage?  Go for it.  What about a heavily armored vampire d-bag?  Why not.  You can’t beat that kind of customization.  Plus your character can defy the very laws of physics by placing any number of objects, no matter the size, into an invisible backpack as long as the weight of said objects is smaller than your “capacity”.  Beat that Horadric Cube!

Skyrim Wins!

Round 2 – Skyrim vs. Assassin’s Creed II 

Hey Steve, why the heck are we standing all the way up here anywa-OH GOD!

Assassin’s Creed II sports an open-world set in real-life locations such as Venice and Florence and allows players to creatively sneak around and take out their opponents with a wide variety of gadgets.  Skyrim sports an open-world set in Fantasy Land and lets players level up a “Sneak” skill and gives 3 different options for assassinations: backstab, stab-in-sleep or poison (not an official feature, but face-stab seems to work pretty well too).

While Assassin’s Creed may sport a compelling historic sci-fi plot with some well-drawn characters, its real fun lies in sneaking around and pouncing on enemies when they least expect it, using hidden blades, smoke bombs and super-historically-accurate wind gliders (that work!).

Dude this totally worked in Wild Wild West

Maybe Skyrim doesn’t have as many gadgets, but who needs them?  All one needs to do is sneak around a friendly town a few times and they’ve maxxed out their Sneak skill, which means you are pretty much invisible to the naked eye, despite standing directly in front of people.  I don’t see Ezio gettin’ away with that in front of the pope.

Skyrim Wins!

Round 3 – Skyrim vs. Deus Ex: Human Revolution

Deus Ex...MACHINA!

Human Revolution is a throw-back to the cult-classic Deus Ex, which lets players approach a level many different ways – brute force, stealth, talking your way in, etc.  But remember, your actions will have far-reaching consequences and no decision is black or white.

Everybody knows the hardest bosses in any game are the ones you have

Skyrim lets you do whatever the fuck you want and get away with everything.

Skyrim Wins!

Round 4 – Skyrim vs. Call of Duty

I had no idea I looked good in a mohawk, until I realized I had one on the WHOLE TIME

The Call of Duty franchise features epic, scripted single player campaigns and a robust multiplayer suite that keeps players coming every night for more.  It also features a super-knife that kills instantly and teleports players through the space-time continuum to their enemies.

Skyrim features an optional storyline with hundreds of hours of optional side-quests and no multiplayer.  But Skyrim has dragons, so suck it.

Yea...try takin THAT down with your damn AT4s

Skyrim Wins!

Round 5 – Skyrim vs. Mario

Looks like somebody ate a mushroom...

The Mario franchise sports a short, fat, Italian plumber dressed in overalls who jumps on enemies to kill them with his considerable weight.  Sometimes he puts on a hat with wings on it…

Skyrim Wins!

Round 6 – Skyrim vs. Rock Band

I like how literally no one is watching the screen...

Rock Band features a set of tiny plastic instruments that you and your friends can team up with to pretend like you’re in a band.

Skyrim lets you sing along to the main theme music and generally feel like a badass.

Skyrim Wins!

Round 7 – Skyrim vs. FarmVille


Skyrim Wins!

Round 8 – Skyrim vs. Minecraft


Minecraft is the little indie game that could and allows players to explore an infinite virtual sandbox, letting players place blocks wherever they like as they would with virtual LEGOs.  The game is consistently updated with new content and allows players to build the creations of their dreams.

Skyrim has a limited world that cannot be physically altered or changed.  The game is consistently updated to make sure it doesn’t crash on you all the time.

Oh and Minecraft has dragons now….

Uh oh, forgot my EVERYTHING

…but they don’t fly backwards:

Skyrim Wins!

Round 9 – Skyrim vs. Tetris

Yea! Falling blocks are cool!

Tetris is a classic example of retro video games that will likely be around forever.  Its formula of dropping randomly shaped blocks to clear out the bottom and continually survive has withstood the test of time and continues to be played by millions world-wide.

Skyrim lets you stack random bodies on top of one another as you slay townspeople over and over again.  The bodies don’t disappear or anything like Tetris, but I just wanted to mention how awesome that is.

"So this guard was all like 'you're coming with me' and I was all like 'oh yea? FUS RO DAH!' and he....oh shit I think I just killed everyone again...."

Skyrim Wins!

Round 10 – The Final Round – Skyrim vs. Other Bethesda Games

Its like Elder Scrolls, but not!

Other Bethesda games before Skyrim have featured deep leveling systems, loads of items to steal and loot, sprawling worlds to explore and hundreds of hours of side-missions.

Skyrim features all of the above PLUS a new meme we can all enjoy:

Skyrim Wins!  BEST GAME EVER!


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About Ryan Saul

Hailing from Portland, OR I work by day and blog by night. I like to consider myself a video game connoisseur, playing as many new things as I can get my hands on. Its hard to hold me down to one game for very long before I move on to the next big thing. Luckily, that works pretty well in terms of video game blogging.

9 responses to “Skyrim vs. The best games ever made”

  1. giantsbane says :

    Let’s not go overboard here…
    I love Skyrim, but it is not the best game ever. I’d contend that Ocarina of Time, Dark Souls, Minecraft, and Knights of the Old Republic are better games. I believe the dumbed-down character leveling system in Skyrim is alone a sufficient deficiency to disqualify it from even being the best RPG ever.

    • Ryan Saul says :

      What’s so dumbed-down about it? Previously you had no idea how to max out your stats unless someone specifically told you and perks were given at random. Now you need to consciously decide where to place perk points and the leveling makes sense compared to not really making sense before in my opinion. “ok did I do 2 secondary skills or 3? Oh crap I jumped too many times!”

      • giantsbane says :

        Haha…I didn’t convey that very clearly. They greatly simplified the leveling system from the previous game; however, this was a good thing because the previous system was very convoluted. However, the leveling sytem in elder scrolls games have never been good. I think many rpg enthusiasts will probably agree with me that half the fun in a rpg is needing to learn what all the various statistics do and play around with them to find optimum character builds. They’ve nerfed any such features in Skyrim. I like the spread sheets that have player stats, they removed ability to put experience into character atributes such as strength in favor of doing a perk system. I don’t think these two leveling systems are mutually exclusive. I would have liked to see the more traditional character building, which is still in dark souls, in addition to the perk trees. However, I think many game developers are trying to appeal to a broader audience and therefore dumb-down the leveling systems in rpgs to cater to the more casual players who are afraid of misallocating experience and are opposed to having to do some work laying out proper character builds.

        • Ryan Saul says :

          I will take the current system over the older one, I too would have preferred something more akin to Fallout 3’s system of hard stats, perks and level-able skills, but with way more overall levels and not letting people basically get 100 in everything.

          • giantsbane says :

            I completely agree. I’m mostly afraid that future rpgs are gonig to look to games like Mass effect 2, where the system hasn’t just been streamlined but boiled down so much that I’m hesistant to firmly call it an rpg.

          • Ryan Saul says :

            When it came out many called Mass Effect 2 a brand new genre, so I don’t think you’re too far off there. I personally loved the formula and I want way more in that lite-RPG style….kinda hopin that C&C game turns out to be like that.

  2. giantsbane says :

    Here’s one of the more infamous ign articles comparing Skyrim and Dark Souls (I think Dark Souls is a better game, but the reasoning in this article is so bad it’s humorous.)

    Winner: Dark Souls

  3. sege says :

    Awesome, very funny, had me literally lol’ing…..and have to agree Skyrim is the best game ever!

  4. emmanuel romero says :

    just played skyrim and want to play it again and again with different characters…another world/another dimension..skyrim!…you’re right dude the best game ever (of course with bugs..because it’s so massive)….

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